December Chutney

December 6, 2007

Hi Khushies,

I thought I would save you the bother of reading yet another descriptive Chutney essay. But I've received inquiring emails from a number of people: "How was the Chutney dinner?" "Did anyone show up at all?" I figured I'd inflict the answers on all of you.

There were 17 attendees at last Saturday's Malaysian Chutney dinner at the Straits of Malaya restaurant. That's a decent number, but it's less than the 20+ that we've had over the past 4 months. The short 5-day notice, the cold weather and the holiday season may have contributed to the low turnout.

There were no women attendees. One of the Khush women told me that women stay away from such events because Khush women aren't all that keen on attending social events. That may well be true, but I find it next to impossible to believe.

Roaring Twenties

The dinner was at 8, but it was 8.20 or so by the time enough folks showed up for us to enter the restaurant and get seated. I had swaddled myself in four layers of clothing as though I was headed to the South Pole (that's the favorite pole of South Asians, which I found out by taking a poll...). But others were not as swaddled, so those of us who waited to enter the restaurant kept shivering like there was only tonight and no tomorrow.

I had originally made reservations for 20 people, and the restaurant had arranged for us to sit in a nice separate underground room next door at Larry's Lounge, like they did back in August. But given the low number of RSVPs, I reduced the number to 15, so the restaurant arranged a big table for us in their main room. On second thoughts, I should have stuck to the number 20. Alas, hindsight is 20-20!

Contrasts

Back in August, one of the gay co-owners of the restaurant had welcomed us and had been all friendly and smiling-smiling towards us. He was absent this time though, and the contrast was quite telling, quite jarring. This time the head waiter did not spare us even half a smile, and I got the impression that he was quite peeved. Was it because we came almost half an hour late?

I ordered a vegetarian dish and requested steamed tofu instead of fried tofu.
"We have only one kind of tofu", came the curt reply.
"Can you give me raw tofu, without having to fry it?"
"We have only one kind of tofu", he repeated, looking annoyed.
"Okay, I'll have my dish without tofu then."

My friend X smiled at me. I was on the defensive. "I don't do fried anything", I explained. "They had given me steamed tofu back in August."
X's smile grew wider. "You're one big Steam Queen!", he remarked.
"Say what you want", I told him. "But I think of myself as Steam Engine".
"Aw, look at you, you're all steamed up now!", X remarked with a giggle.
I didn't respond. I let that pass. You can go only so far with bad puns.
But X managed to have the last laugh. "Looks like you've simply run out of steam", he grinned.

Check, Check

After dinner I collected everyone's paper chit on which they had written the item they had ordered and its price. I added 10% tax and a 20% tip. I had planned on doing the accounting in a scientific manner, so I had got my scientific calculator. But it was no use, since the calculator's battery died, forcing me to employ my brain to do the calculations. (Okay, I got my scientific calculator because that's the only battery-powered calculator I have).

We squared up the bill correctly: there was no shortfall this time. My friend R and his partner C suggested that we calculate just the 10% tax and leave the tip amounts to the discretion of the individual diners for future Chutneys. I think that's a good idea; we will do that next time. That will reduce our accounting work and it will give folks who have been denied steamed tofu the freedom to give just a 0.1% tip.

We exited the restaurant and a bunch of us went to one or more dance clubs. We had planned on going to Town, the new club, but I don't know if anyone did that night. I felt like disappearing into thin air, as I'm wont to do, but that night's air was cold, heavy and thick. So instead I headed for the Metro and vanished underground.

--Ninad
KhushDC Board