February State of the Chutney Address

February 7, 2008

Hi All,

Here's the monthly State of the Chutney Address. It's delayed, but unless you mistake it for justice, you won't think it's denied.

Succulent Synopsis

February's Chutney dinner was a freestyle buffet dinner at Singapore Bistro restaurant in downtown DC south of Dupont Circle. 37 people attended, of whom all but one dined, many wined and a few whined. The crowd was as diverse - if not diverser - as it always is.

It was the first time that we had a buffet dinner for a Chutney Saturday event. We have always had sit-down dinners before and the billing has always been challenging. It was refreshingly simple this time. The buffet cost $18 and everyone got cash - and many got exact change - so we collected $18 x 36 = $650. The restaurant charged people separately for drinks, and I'm guessing that our party must have netted them a total of $800 to $1000 that evening.

There were eight to ten dishes at the buffet, and the vegetarian ones were the most popular. They were not marked as being vegetarian and thereby caused needless confusion to vegetarians and vegans. That's something that we need to take care of at future Chutney dinners.

The restaurant placed us in their party room on the third floor, and we had the place to ourselves. Dinner was supposed to start at 7.30 and was ready at that time. But we first had drinks, and we started having dinner only at 8.15 or so. So the event turned out to be an enjoyable and neatly split two-part event: drinks followed by dinner, just as we used to have it until a couple of years ago with drinks at Titans club followed by dinner elsewhere.

We have decided to have buffet dinners at future Chutney Saturdays - they beat sit-down individual-order dinners. In hindsight, we should have switched to the buffet format months ago. But better late than never, I suppose.

The Early Effect

It did not matter whether people showed up on time or not, since it was a buffet dinner in a long 7.30-10 pm window. You're welcome to come on Indian Standard Time (IST) - or if you're politically correct, South Asian Standard Time (SAST) - at future Chutney dinner buffets. Timeliness is somewhat of an issue only when it's a non-buffet, sit-down dinner, and a few folks have ended up coming late in the past.

As if to compensate for those folks' past tardiness, an esteemed KhushDC member (I shall not name her to protect her privacy) came to last Saturday's chutney dinner an hour early - at 6.30 pm - with her partner. They sat at the bar and had drinks, and waiters at the restaurant would ask them every five minutes, "What time is the dinner? The food takes a long time to cook, so we need to know!" The early birds get the waiters, as the saying goes... Early, early.

Firsts Among Equals

Chutneys always have their fair share of luminaries. Atul and Yassir - KhushDC's co-founders - graced the occasion, as did P, P and D-I-P, who were KhushDC's President, Treasurer and Vice-President two years ago. Their presence made me aware of a striking absence: none of the folks from KhushDC's most recent previous Board could make it. I know one of them was traveling.

Now Chutney is not one of those smarmy-nanny "attendance-is-compulsory-for ex-Board member" events, but the contrast between the presence of one set of ex-Board members and the concomitant, simultaneous absence of a more recent set was nonetheless noticeable.

Having thrown stones at others, I just remembered that I live in a glass house. Of the five members of the current Board, only two could make it. The others did help organize the event though. And since the event was a buffet, we did not need a tag team of three or four board members to do the billing!

Also notable was the presence of someone who I think of as an elder statesman - or more precisely - stateswoman along with her partner. Much as I am tempted to, I shall refrain from dropping names, just as I did earlier. Shiv, Shiv! Earlier, earlier...

Tenured and Titled

First though all the above folks are, they are merely first among equals. One person - let's refer to that person as Helen Aunty - who I think of as First among Firsts also attended the dinner along with his/her partner: it was their first KhushDC event after a gap of several years.

Now I may be biased, and I may get hauled over the coals for saying this, but I think of Helen Aunty (HA) as Phoenix. For HA played a decisive role in raising KhushDC Phoenix-like from the ashes of stagnation a few years ago and set up the first governing committee which is now called the Board. Just as Mahatma Gandhi is considered India's Father of the Nation, I think of HA as Father of KhushDC, with a tenured position.

Far and Wide

There were a few new people - this was their first-ever KhushDC event. Thank you for coming, and do join us at future events! A couple of folks drove in from Philadelphia, one happened to be visiting from San Francisco, and there were a couple of Londoners.

Mistaken Identity

While having dinner, a friend complimented me for being... James Bond? No. Superman? Nyet. Dr. Dasrap Dotiwalla? You bet! Yours Truly was taken aback at being mistaken as Yours Falsely. "I am truly not Dasrap", I explained. "Truly, truly. I am truly Danin Screwalla, ESQ". I'm not sure if my friend believed me or not. I felt like wearing a dhoti that proclaimed, "I ain't no Dotiwalla".

"Just ask Dr. Pid Adage, ASP and the real Dr. Dasrap Dotiwalla, PERSP", I added.

"What are ESQ, ASP and PERSP?"

"They are titles of nobility, mobility and immunoglobulity, irrespectively", I explained. "ESQ is Esquire, ASP is Aspire and PERSP is Perspire."

"Don't drink any more alcohol", my friend replied. I promptly poured my remaining wine into his glass. Served him right for casting ASPersions on me!

Interesting Introductions

Paresh and Atul took the lead in getting us to introduce ourselves to each other. We had to describe ourselves with an adjective beginning with the same letter as our first name. I thought of introducing myself as "noxious, noisome, notorious, nattering Ninny". But my courage failed me and I said I was simply "Naughty Ninad". Never has Naughty sounded so tepid.

By the time it was the third John's turn, the j-adjectives such as jovial and jolly were already taken. I suggested jejune. (I was only trying to help). But my voice didn't carry too far and my humble and jejune suggestion died a silent death.

Doggie Bags

The vegetarian food got over quite quickly, and most people were done with dinner by the time the restaurant folks refilled the food trays. Result: come closing time, and a lot of food was left over. The restaurant folks told us to take away the remaining food with us, as they had no use for it. We got it packed into a dozen large boxes.

I asked folks from the fast-dwindling crowd to help themselves to the free food. But most people had left by the, and the few who remained did not take it - either because they did not want it or because they were going clubbing afterwards. So S, D and I took all the food with us as we were the only ones who were not going clubbing immediately thereafter and whose cars were parked nearby.

I should have enquired earlier about the excess food and announced it to everyone during dinner. Next time.

You Rock

Someone complimented me for helping with the setup. "You're awesome!", she said. "You Rock!" Now the first is surely a compliment, but I'm not so sure about the second. I take it as a compliment if folks call me a Stone or a Pebble, but being called a Rock is downright insulting. The same goes for furniture. Call me a sofa: insult. Call me a Chair: high honor. Queen-Size Bed: Compliment. Stool: Worst possible insult. And so on...

Jokes apart, a big Thank You to Joel for first suggesting Singapore Bistro, and a less big Thank You to Atul for seconding it a couple of weeks later! Thank you Divya for working out the details of the arrangement by meeting Singapore Bistro's Grace Jin (aka Amazing Grace) in person!

But the biggest thank you goes to all those of you who attended. As the wag said, "Do come again!"

--Ninad Jog

KhushDC Board